Indulge Me

GOD, I hate blogging about blogging but even more I hate blogging about NOT blogging. So this is an especially uncomfortable post for me. (And for you too! Woo hoo! Aren't you glad you decided not to delete me from your reader??!) But I feel like it would be dishonest to not say something when I am obviously having a problem posting on a regular basis.

There are a lot of things that I could use as excuses: busy with the kids, twitter-suck, bad juju, bad habits, major blogging-block, general malaise... oh I could go on and on. But honestly it boils down to losing the passion that had, in the past, kept me doing it no matter what. That hurts to say because I love this blog. I love every post, even the embarrassingly bad ones. I love every single person that has ever stopped by and read a post or added my feed to their reader. I love every single comment and every single commenter. And when I say love, I mean LOVE both because I am a slut like that and because I can't believe how much positivity this blog has brought into my life. It's hard to describe but I am a different person because of this online experiment. Blogging, for me, has been a surprisingly deep and satisfying experience that I feel fortunate to have had. (Short aside: I think that one of the biggest reasons I hate to blog about blogging is how many times I have to say the word "blog." Bloggy!)

But, before you think this is a valedictory kiss off, lack of passion does not mean lack of desire. (Just ask my husband. Ba dum bump.) The desire is most definitely there. In fact, I have been carrying around a lot of weight because the last thing I want is to let this blog die. So it's time for action. It has been my experience that lack of passion can be made up for, almost pound for pound, with discipline. (If this were not true I would never have been able to stay gainfully employed most of my adult life.) So I am going to just get all methodical on yer asses and promise, from now until the forseeable future, I will post once a week. Public promises usually work with me, not because I am highly ethical, but rather highly co-dependant. If I think even one person out there is put out because I didn't keep my promise I'll freak out. (Terrible, crippling trait but for now, bonus!) Also, I am trying to change the layout of the blog so that some of my extracurricular content shows up more legibly. And perhaps, just maybe, I'll change the freaking banner that is still referencing the move we made three years ago. And my about page. Oh and the out-of-date picture. Jeeze.

I hope all you are still out there. Hope you haven't given up on me. Rising from the ashes over here. Dusty and coughing, but with a fiery heart.

Comments

[jagosaurus]

Rock on. We're here.

[Orange]

Hello! Yes, you're in my RSS feed. Yes, I'll be glad to see weekly posts. Yes, I know exactly how it goes when the sizzle goes out of a blogger/blog relationship. Me, I'm writing nine crossword posts a week on two other blogs, and for bigger audiences. The real problem is that it's so much easier to mini-blog with two sentences on Facebook than to write an Orange Tangerine post, and the feedback is so much faster. So I'm getting my bloggy rocks off via Facebook these days. My bloggin' friends who are on Facebook mostly don't blog nearly as much as they used to. Is Facebook killing the personal blog?

[supa]

thrilled. and extremely empathetic. (notice my content is quick-blog links these days, because actual writing is Too Much Right Now.)

looking forward to reading.

[Mignon]

I get your feed. You feed me.

Yeah, what Orange said. I was already over the hump of bloggy-bliss, and FB definitely took away some of the guilt of losing contact with my online buddies. I agree with you, though. Blogging got me through some tough times, and now tough times are got through in different ways.

[LetterB]

One of the reasons I have a pretty strict "lurk only" policy on Facebook is because it would be all over if I started posting there too. I'd say Twitter is the main thing killing the blog star. And for a lot of the same reasons - short bursts with immediate feedback (not to mention Favrd which brings it to a whole 'nother crazy level of compulsion.) But even if Twitter did not exist I think I'd still be in a place like this. I am hoping that just giving it a serious go will bring the passion back and help me figure out what I want to be putting out here. Because I love to put out.

Also: must find you guys on FB! Had no idea.

[Genie]

Woo! I'm trying to post more consistently as well. But I'm pleased whenever your name goes bold in my feed reader with more to share. :)

[juliloquy]

Reading! And same boat! But unwilling to make a gutsy promise like you have, although I'm planning to update right about now . . .

[Orange]

There are a bunch of people with your name on FB. Are you the one with the photoshopped red face and 116 friends?

[LetterB]

Yep! You found me. Although I'm surprised I have that many friends.

[kilowatthour]

i'm with you, both as a reader and a fellow non-practicing blogger. i don't want to pull the plug! not yet!

[Kyran]

I approve! There's no getting around the doldrums, only through. xo

[E.]

OK, first of all, I have to say that as I clicked over to Letter B just minutes ago, I was thinking (yes, my wireless connection is slooow) that I probably wouldn't get a new post from you, and wondering why so many of my favorite bloggers post so seldom. In some ways, it's a good thing, because I'm too damn busy to read daily posts. But once a week? Perfect! I'm excited about your resolution, and if it will help you keep it, I'll be bitterly disappointed if you don't post at least every ten days. I love your blog!

And fuck Twitter! Except the haikus. Those seem like a perfect use of Twitter. (Loved the tampon one a few weeks back. I sketched out an imaginary Oral Hygiene Queen post about post-vaginal-birth tampon use, but of course like 80% of my imagined posts it never materialized.) But it seems like Twitter is taking some wind out of a number of blogs I love. So fuck Twitter. Except the haikus.

Also, there's nothing wrong with a quick little post (even though I personally seem unable to pull those off). You do the quickie (or at least shortie) post very well.

xoxo, E.

[Assertagirl]

Still here! Looking forward to reading more of your posts (and seeing you soon in Chicago)!

[jenB]

Cough and keep writing. I am going to as well.

so much love

xoxoxo