Today as Lowell was draining my essence, i mean nursing, i started thinking again about how I'm going to have to wean him. Some of you may be reacting like, "shizzit lady, you're still breastfeeding??!" and I assure you I feel the same way. Before having Lowell I was convinced that I was going to enjoy, nay, adore breastfeeding. I was positive that I would love it so much that I would end up nursing him through toddlerhood because I wouldn't want to give it up. I have no idea where I got this idea, perhaps from some La Leche brainwashing back in college or from the beatific pictures you always see of mothers with their babies at the breast. Funny you never see pictures of a woman with a grouchy baby tugging her shirt open at the playground or of a mom trying to get out the door and having to get ready with her little marsupial swinging from her chest. It's not that I hate breastfeeding, it has its moments, but for the most part it is a major pain in the butt and draining as hell (no pun intended). The only reason I have made it this far is because I am not working full time (there is a special torture chamber in hell outfitted with breast pumps I am sure of that) and because I am far too cheap and lazy to deal with formula. But I am soooo ready to be done with it now that he is old enough to get all his nutrition from solid food. I am dying to have my body back 100%. I want to be able to go back on the pill. I want to stop worrying about what I am ingesting all the time. Dammit, i even want one too many margaritas on occasion.
I was hoping that maybe he'd wean himself. That one day he'd be like "Hey Mom, you know that dreamy sweet dairy treat that is always the perfect temperature and comes out of that pretty pink spigot on your soft parts? I want no part of it anymore." Surprisingly this has not happened. My sister laid out the way she weaned her two boys and I am pretty sure that I will follow her lead but I am a little surprised at the way I am feeling now that I have a plan and the end is in sight. I am actually upset about it. This is so surprising because I have complained about nursing from day one and some recent biting incidents have really pushed me over the edge. But, still, I am feeling sad about Lowell not being a baby anymore and weaning him is just one more reminder of that. I think once it's actually over I might even miss it and mourn for my little marsupial. Thank God I will have tequila again to help numb this pain.
Alana, trust me, he's still a baby. Plus I can't believe either of you nursed this long. You bit me at 6 months and that was all she wrote. Bad mommy!
Posted by: mom | November 20, 2005 at 07:01 PM
what!?! you're not drinking tequila now!?!? no wonder the little monkey won't sleep!
Posted by: kara | December 07, 2005 at 11:28 PM
i kid, it is a bittersweet day (one day closer to lowell snickering at the christmas "nutcrackers"...) i can still picture both of my babies, drunk on breastmilk, sliding off of my shoulder with their sweet milky breath. shucks, i'm all teary. *swigs last gulp of beer #3*
remember, you still have lolo's baby sister to nurse! yay!
Posted by: kara | December 07, 2005 at 11:35 PM