Maybe I'll Just Fill In "Human Resources"

Ahhh tax time. My least favorite time of year. Matthew and I tend to lob the financial responsibility of this family like a flaming, irradiated potato so when it comes to the month of reckoning we seek professional help. While gathering all our tax crap to send to Mel, our accountant, I realized that 2006 will be the first year I have no income to report since, I don't know when, 1987, maybe? It really made feel strangely inadequate and even a little panicked. And even though I am writing about it here I really went back and forth about doing so in my head because part of me feels very ashamed to admit it. I know that just because I am not paid for my (hellaf*cking hard) work it doesn't mean I am not contributing to our bottom line. I know that my work is worthwhile and valuable. We moved out of the city so this would be possible, so that we could survive for awhile on one income and I could stay at home until Lowell was in preschool. This is the plan, and we are both sacrificing a lot for it. Most days I am very happy with our decisions since the whole experience of "staying at home" (I hate that stoooopid, passive phrase) has been overwhelmingly positive. I feel lucky and grateful that we can make it work right now. It's just a strange feeling to write "none" under occupation after having worked so long for my own keep.

Comments

[Nicolle]

Isn't it freaky, though?
I feel like such a dork filling out tax papers that say $0 across the board save for my ever so profitable savings account interest.

(I have to say I wish I was Canadian, I hear they have paid leave for 18 months. How is it possible that the US doesn't offer up more than that pittance of 6 weeks?)

[Noelle]

As unpleasant as it is to think about, if you imagine what would happen to your family if you were suddenly not there one day, that will give you a pretty good idea of your worth.

It would be strange to suddenly not have income from a job after all these years, for me, so far the worst was the year I made less than the year before. When you realize you have to go to work and still not come out on top, that's a bummer as well.

[HoorayForSaturday]

I felt the same way you do the first time I did that, which was three years ago.
It's funny how our families plans are running the same route, although I am a dad that is decided to not outsource the care of the children during the daytime hours.
Think of it like that, you are not outsourcing your childcare.
Don't worry, you are getting paid. A couple of years from now when you look back at a picture you might have taken or remember some random moment from 11:40am, it will make just being a sad sack of a dependent all worth it.

[wordgirl]

I, too, dislike the term "stay at home". It sounds as though I've been grounded. And it's always the same. He goes to work and I stay at home. He goes to Belize with the Boy Scouts...and I stay home. After all theses years of staying at home, I realize that it's time to pick up the pieces of my ravaged career and start anew.

[deana]

none? you're a domestic engineer!

[kara]

bah! you get used to it.

just wait until you get your social security report after um...12 years of "not working". now that's funny!!